Surprising how many people should get out more…

This blog thing could be rather fun. When I think of the negative experiences I had with my first IT tutor, it’s surprising that I’ve ever taken to anything to do with computers . For 6 months I thought  a ‘sausage fingered knobhead’  was a technical term. Though in hindsight I was quite impressed that I managed to erase his entire bank account. Still don’t know how.

So, after promising myself that I wouldn’t write any more rubbish for a few days, here I am on the laptop in the drawing room once more. It’s past eleven o’clock, Lady Barton St Mary is still up, as is Miss Katherine, but both of them are engaged in what is known as ‘interior design’, which to my mind tends to be discussing colours and fabrics I’ve never heard of.

“We could paint the far wall in Ophelia Plum,” mutters Lady BSM, narrowing her eyes and flaring her nostrils in a sort of interior designer sort of way.

“Oh with Groundwick cushions hemmed with Morrocan Nose Hair,” purrs Miss Katherine, tossing her head in a sort of interior designer sort of way. She’s never been a habitual head tosser.

Benfield has been allowed to retire for the day, having provided Lady BSM with her nightcap of a weak G&T and a scotch egg. He exited in his usual way, bowing to the ladies and gracefully backing out of the drawing room, followed by a crash and a cry of ‘Bollocks!’ as he trips over Ollie the cat.

No doubt he’s off to share a nightcap with Mrs Dallimore, our housekeeper, before retiring to bed. Parslow, the gamekeeper who likes people to think he’s the head groundsman, is probably polishing off his final pint of Old Filthy in ‘The Angry Afrikaner’ before heading home. Hope he remembers to turn on the electric fence before retiring. I hate it when I’m woken up by some screaming villager being seen off by the hounds.

I think that’s all for tonight. If you have any questions, please feel free to e-mail me and if they’re good questions I’ll do my best to answer them in a regular ‘any questions’ blog. Just to save you all time; no, I know nothing about Warcraft and yes, unless you go outdoors at least once every month you will burn easily in the sun.

Until next time.Keep in touch.


About ruralspaceman

A man trapped inside a middle aged body still tries to be hip and trendy. Actually, no he doesn't. He says it as he sees it. as long as it's not too controversial. Living with his wife, Lady Barton St Mary, two children, Miss Katherine and Master Johnny in Randall Towers, he is constantly frustrated by the mechanisms of modern life and the issues raised by being the husband of a high flying executive and member of the aristocracy. All he wants is a quiet life and a full set of Deal or No Deal DVDs. Please help him.
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