A Visitor to Randall Towers – the continuing story of village life.

Lots of fuss yesterday evening caused by a visit from a local celebrity. Benfield was just making Lady BSM one of her ‘specials’ when there was a knock at the door. The electric fence must be off! Where were the dogs? Went to the door with Benfield, me keeping a safe distance in case it was a mad axe man. It was Jo Gee, former supermodel now married to an east european professional footballer by the name of Petr Grszweisnovtszcgh. Yes, I can’t pronounce it either. Hence he is known as Czech Petr and she’s called Jo Gee. Parslow stood meekly behind her, glazed eyes and protruding tongue as he stared at her tight leopard skin mini dress.
“Hi ya!” she sang, “Wanna comeover to my place for a party? We can have a few games in the pool and everything! Petr’s away playing in some tournament.”
I stared up into her big blue eyes; in her heels she was a good 6 inches taller than me, so it seemed more polite than staring at her chest. I’d never met her before, but had seen the photographs from FHM magazine that Parslow had pinned up inside his potting shed. I couldn’t help thinking about where the staple marks were on her body.

Lady BSM and Mrs Dallimore appeared.

The fragrant Ms G pouted as Lady BSM explained we were otherwise engaged with birthday celebrations for The Sexton and promptly closed the door. Mrs Dallimore tutted and muttered something not altogether complimentary.

It would have been interesting to visit Jo Gee’s mock Tudor 8 bedroomed starter castle. Perhaps another time.


About ruralspaceman

A man trapped inside a middle aged body still tries to be hip and trendy. Actually, no he doesn't. He says it as he sees it. as long as it's not too controversial. Living with his wife, Lady Barton St Mary, two children, Miss Katherine and Master Johnny in Randall Towers, he is constantly frustrated by the mechanisms of modern life and the issues raised by being the husband of a high flying executive and member of the aristocracy. All he wants is a quiet life and a full set of Deal or No Deal DVDs. Please help him.
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