Two Words. Raw. Be. X-Factor Episode 19

Well, smother me in tubas and call me Robbie. X-Factor.

Tonight they decided to have FUN on X-Factor. No, they didn’t invite Gary onstage for a romantic duet with Rylan, it was the band FUN, from New York. They’re geeky enough to join Hot Chip, can sing, play their instruments and move about. Oh, and write songs. Cowell must be so confused.

Dermot reliably held everything together.

“Here’s Tom Daley!” he proclaimed, pointing out the Olympic diver.

“He’s a big Rylan fan!”

Is this a euphemism?

Next up, the man himself, everyone’s favourite tone deaf showman, Robbie Williams, looking like a tipsy uncle at a wedding reception in tight purple shirt and waistcoat. Either Robbie’s becoming middle aged or he mistakenly put on Gary’s clothes in the dressing room. I found it comforting to see he was the same shape as me in my running gear. He gave a typical X -Factor performance, which means he sort of hit some of the right notes at the right time and hammed it up a lot, sitting on one poor man’s lap. The unfortunate chap shook his head, regretting the fact he hadn’t brought a gun with him. Robbie leapt to the stage to be confronted by a mirror. He looked slightly taken aback. It’s been years since he’s looked in a mirror that was vertical. In a flurry of bus tickets and red and black balloons, Robbie finished and wandered off the stage.

The contestants returned and went through including Rylan, who appears to be turning into Annie Lennox, leaving Jade Singlemum and Union J to ‘fight it out.’

Usual stuff. Union J wailed their way through their song, Jade belted out a good performance. Out went Jade, back to collect her daughter from the Cowell Orphan’s Home after she’s paid the bill. To be fair, Jade did have all the charisma of a Thunderbirds puppet.

Jade’s family are disappointed, but glad she’s coming home.

By the way, I made a mistake earlier. District 9 were in the bottom two last week, not Other Direction. All other mistakes are made by the X Factor judges.

Until next time.

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About ruralspaceman

A man trapped inside a middle aged body still tries to be hip and trendy. Actually, no he doesn't. He says it as he sees it. as long as it's not too controversial. Living with his wife, Lady Barton St Mary, two children, Miss Katherine and Master Johnny in Randall Towers, he is constantly frustrated by the mechanisms of modern life and the issues raised by being the husband of a high flying executive and member of the aristocracy. All he wants is a quiet life and a full set of Deal or No Deal DVDs. Please help him.
This entry was posted in blog, blogging, blogs, comedy, comic characters, gary barlow, humor, humour, life observations, louis walsh, music, Nicole Scherzinger, relationships, Rylan from x factor, simon cowell, tulisa, wordpress, x factor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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