Well, ignore the comments and call me Christopher. X-Factor.
“Oh no..” said Master Johnny as the X-Factor’s finest started to completely deconstruct Coldplay’s ‘Viva la Vida.’
This was followed by a singing puppet called Bruno, who had lots of puppeteers being him playing instruments. Very clever. You couldn’t even see the strings. Miss Katherine seemed to like him, singing along to his song.
“Bruno Mars is only 5 feet 5 inches tall!” blurted Miss Katherine, studying her ever present adenoid phone. That explained why all of the band were crouching. Dermot took the opportunity to tower over somebody else.
Rhianna appeared in a lovely evening dress to sing her new song ‘Diamonds.’ Chaos ensued when Tulisa popped out for a fag and set off all the sprinklers, completely soaking poor Rhianna. She was lucky she wasn’t electrocuted.
On to the decision to see who would be appearing in the semi final (yes, I’m only 3 episodes away from freedom).
Another Direction and Rylan are left to fight it out. If ever Rylan needed his breathy whistle tones, it was now.
Double take – Rylan sings a fairly good version of ‘Wires’ by Athlete, a song about a father’s feelings for his new born baby in a special unit in hospital. X-Factor gold.
Then Another Direction pull at the heart strings with the Snow Patrol anthem ‘Run.’ Perfect hair, good performance.
Gary wanted to send home Rylan, whereas Louis and Tulisa send home Ryland.
The dream for Rylan is over. The nightmare for the rest of us continues.
By the way, did Tulisa have an audition for the new Addams Family film after the show?
Until next time.