We have just completed viewing of The Game of Thrones series 1.
(In the USA, you may know it as Season 1).
What did I learn?
- It contains ‘excessive boobage’ (copyright LadyBSM).
- Witches tend to have a bit of a singalong when you put them on the bonfire, but end up sounding like screaming fireworks. They burn bloody well, mind.
- Don’t chop the head off your horse. However angry you are. It has a tendency not to work so well afterwards, but makes a lovely supermarket beef lasagne.
- Dwarves have an amazing capacity and appetite for alcohol and sex with prostitutes. Insert your own Lord Sugar joke in the comments section.
- Certain royal families like to have sex with their relatives, though this is not a mutually exclusive arrangement. Even with their relatives.
- Ravens are definitely more efficient than postal workers. Postal workers are vulnerable to dogs, whereas ravens have to keep an eye out for arrows.
- Be wary of your friends’ kids. If they are little shits before they’re crowned, they’re bound to be psychopathic misogynists afterwards.
- The best way to remove somebody’s tongue is to warm a knife gently over a roaring fire before shoving it in the subjects mouth. The leading specialist on this procedure happens to be the musician Wilko Johnson.
- Alternatively, you can slash the subject’s throat and pull their tongue out through the slit.
- One of the men in charge of the nightwatch may have been Father Jack in the comedy series Father Ted. Enough for Lady Barton St Mary or me to shout, ‘Drink!’ or ‘Nuns!’ every time he appeared on the screen.
- Zombies have blue eyes.
- The north appears to be grey, austere and chilly, the people direct and rather rude at times. The south seems to be warmer, the people obtuse and slightly effeminate. No stereotyping there, then.
- I still don’t know who anybody is, what’s going on or where it’ll all end.
- I want to see series 2.
There’s so much more I could tell you, but what did you learn from series 1?