Shelley You Can’t Be Serious – X Factor 16

Wave enthusiastically at the contestants and call me Dermot. X Factor.

Look. I’ll be honest. I’ve had one of the best weekends anybody could have, spending yesterday evening watching a rather moving performance of Romeo and Juliet at The Royal Opera House in Covent Garden. Yes, I do like ballet, what about it? Anyway, the added bonus to a wonderful evening in London meant I didn’t get to see X Factor 15. I found the experience rather liberating. There’s something rather nice about tuning into the results show without having to sit through an additional hour or more the evening before. Even if it means having to watch Robin Thicke and Katy Perry, one after the other.

From what I could glean, Kingsland Road had turned into a cul-de-sac and ended up in the sing off. Which meant that tonight’s show was rather redundant, since it could easily be called ‘Who joins Shelley in the Sing Off.”

Poor Justine Lee Collins. She’s not the worst singer, is she, Abi? But she is slightly mad. And slightly old. And slightly overweight. All the classic traits needed for the typically shallow, image led, solipsistic X Factor voter to shun her.

And so it was. Kingsland Close sang a song. I didn’t know what it was. Neither did Lady Barton St Mary.

“I wasn’t really paying much attention,” she murmured, before returning to the internet, where she’s shopping for a new electric fence.

“Pink!” blurted Miss Katherine. “Try!” she continued, relying on Google.

Shelley stepped to the microphone and belted out “Stop”. Very apt.

It all came down to Louis’ decision. Mrs O tried using all her womanly charms to influence Louis. Maybe somebody should tell her she isn’t his type.


And so it came to pass. Shelley got the welly.

Until next week. Maybe.


About ruralspaceman

A man trapped inside a middle aged body still tries to be hip and trendy. Actually, no he doesn't. He says it as he sees it. as long as it's not too controversial. Living with his wife, Lady Barton St Mary, two children, Miss Katherine and Master Johnny in Randall Towers, he is constantly frustrated by the mechanisms of modern life and the issues raised by being the husband of a high flying executive and member of the aristocracy. All he wants is a quiet life and a full set of Deal or No Deal DVDs. Please help him.
This entry was posted in blog, blogging, blogs, comedy, comic characters, freshly pressed, gary barlow, google, humor, humour, life observations, louis walsh, Nicole Scherzinger, sharon Osbourne, shelley smith, wordpress, x factor and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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