Well, Celine Dion walks into a bar, orders a drink and the barman says, “Why the long face?” X Factor.
Forget X Factor and watch Homeland. X Factor.
Wow, the opening song by all contestants was, in Nicole language, Shitstastic.
Followed by Celine Dion. Wife of hugely wealthy record company owner who can pump as much money into getting her to number one as Man City and Chelsea spend to win the Premier League… Enough said.
Then Robbie Williams, the luckiest man alive, with another Guy Chambers song, shows what can happen if you win X Factor and stay friends with Darth Cowell.
Abi and Hannah in the bottom two, Abi pants, Hannah better. End of.
Til next time. Are you gettingthe idea I’m tiring of X Factor? To be honest, it’s by far the worst bunch of contestants ever. But I’m sure I think that every year. Until next time. Whenever that may be.