A normal day at (almost) voluntary work.

Me : Hello dispatches. I’d like this product to deliver to my customer.
Dispatches: When do you want it?
Me: Erm… tomorrow….?
Dispatches: You need 3 weeks notice for this.
Me: Oh dear. How did I miss the procedure?
Dispatches: There isn’t a procedure. I found out today after you asked yesterday.
Me: But – my customer won’t be my customer in 3 weeks.
Dispatches: Perhaps you should fill in a form, stating the product code. Do you know the product code?
Me: Erm… I think it starts with z and ends in thirty something… I don’t think there’s a form…
Stock Control (overhearing) : There should be a code for it, but we haven’t made one yet. We will need a form though.
Me: Ah. Where is this form? I know there are 4 other documents to complete after delivery…
Stock Control: This is the first time we’ve been asked for this product. We are due to design a form for it soon.
Me: Right. So what should I do? Deliver the product the same week as the others receive theirs – in 3 weeks?
Dispatches: Can’t your customer come here? I don’t believe we have the capacity to deliver both at the same time.
Me: I don’t think so. She’s 30 miles away, has trouble walking and can’t drive.
Dispatches: Oh. Well, you do have a problem, don’t you? Product guidelines certainly can’t accommodate such a situation.
Me: Let me just reiterate. The product I delivered on demand last year now needs a new process that doesn’t exist, monitored by paperwork that hasn’t been written, for a product with no code.
Dispatches: That would be great.
Dispatches: I’ve contacted the suppliers. You can take the product tomorrow if you want.


About ruralspaceman

A man trapped inside a middle aged body still tries to be hip and trendy. Actually, no he doesn't. He says it as he sees it. as long as it's not too controversial. Living with his wife, Lady Barton St Mary, two children, Miss Katherine and Master Johnny in Randall Towers, he is constantly frustrated by the mechanisms of modern life and the issues raised by being the husband of a high flying executive and member of the aristocracy. All he wants is a quiet life and a full set of Deal or No Deal DVDs. Please help him.
This entry was posted in (almost) voluntary work, blog, blogging, blogs, comedy, comic characters, freshly pressed, humor, humour, life observations, linguistics, relationships, wordpress and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A normal day at (almost) voluntary work.

  1. OMG. I go through this kind of thing every week and/or month as I update the orders on my son’s medical supplies.

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