Washing Instructions

Wordpretzels, I don’t mean to keep on about it, but I’ve recently returned from a relaxing holiday in Portugal. In Setubal, to be precise, in a lovely 10 bedroom Quinta with 2 kitchens, 2 lounges, 2 dining rooms, a swimming pool, a tennis court and, most importantly, a washing machine.

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This was how we did our laundry in Portugal:

  1. Place washing in machine, add washing liquid, set to appropriate programme and let it do its stuff.
  2. Once washing cycle is completed, remove clean clothes from machine and hang outside on the line to dry.
  3. Two hours later, return to collect in bone dry clothes that hardly need ironing.

 

Of course, holidays don’t last and it wasn’t long until we were returning to the UK, which, travelling back from a hot and sunny Portugal is akin to stepping into a cold, dank, dark cave.

This is how we do our washing in the UK

  1. Place washing in machine, add washing liquid, set to appropriate programme and let it do its stuff.
  2. Once washing cycle is completed, remove clean clothes from machine and hang outside on the line to dry.
  3. Two hours later, return to collect clothes. Only to find they’re still damp, even though it’s quite sunny and the weather forecast is for fine sunny weather for the rest of the week.
  4. Run outside an hour later when you realise it’s raining to discover washing is wetter than it was when you put it out. Decide to leave it since the sun has started to come out again.
  5. After two hours, check again. Still damp. Decide to leave it out because weather forecast is good for tomorrow.
  6. Stare out of window at work in the middle of the day as the rain lashes down.
  7. Forget washing was still hanging out, thus entering its third day on the line.
  8. Next day, discover that not only has it rained again, but accompanied by gale force winds. Collect underwear and several other items from muddy puddles adjacent to washing line. Leave the rest where it is, since the sun is out and it feels nice and warm.
  9. Return from work 10 minutes after a light drizzle has set in. Check washing. Still damp.
  10. On the fifth day, return from work triumphant, knowing the sun has been out all day. Unfortunately, so has your neighbour, who has been burning all his old rubbish, making your clothes smell like a new age traveller.
  11. Return to 1.

Alternatively, you can use a tumble dryer, which can be expensive. Also, it is often frowned upon by those people who consider tumble dryers to be ecologically unsound and would never dream of using one. These people can usually be identified by the clothes they are wearing, which are invariably musty/smoky, slightly damp and crumpled, since they usually don’t believe in ironing either…

 

 

 

 

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About ruralspaceman

A man trapped inside a middle aged body still tries to be hip and trendy. Actually, no he doesn't. He says it as he sees it. as long as it's not too controversial. Living with his wife, Lady Barton St Mary, two children, Miss Katherine and Master Johnny in Randall Towers, he is constantly frustrated by the mechanisms of modern life and the issues raised by being the husband of a high flying executive and member of the aristocracy. All he wants is a quiet life and a full set of Deal or No Deal DVDs. Please help him.
This entry was posted in blog, blogging, blogs, clothes, freshly pressed, humor, humour, laundry, life observations, linguistics, wordpress and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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